Just a few final touches remained.
I darkened the shadow across his brow and redefined the deepest crevices of his loose, twisted clothing. I blew the excess charcoal away and carefully folded all of my previous drawings back over the spiral binding. I placed the shortened piece of charcoal into my mother’s old cigarette case and snapped it shut. I slid my sketchpad into my bag, and slung it over my shoulder.
“Thanks, Red,” I said, waking my model. Red’s heavy boot pulled his sleepy leg off of the park bench where he spent most of his mid-mornings. He yawned with a wide mouth, and I smelled whiskey on his breath as I leaned in to push a modest sitting fee into his palm. “No problem, Artie,” he chuckled, accepting the sum without worrying if the portrait was a suitable likeness.
“I’ll see you later this week, Red,” I called back to him, “Stay out of trouble!” and he chuckled at that too.
I headed back home to wash my hands and put the kettle on. I looked forward to plopping myself down on the couch and closing my eyes. I was sure that when I opened them again I would be able to see in true color. But for now every thing I saw remained in shades of gray with quick charcoal contours defining each plane and deep shadow, the way letters run across one’s mind long after putting down a book.
Drawing up the numerous stairs to my apartment, my body became heavy without its second, third, or fourth cup of tea. I was glad to reach my door, and I fumbled around for my keys, when suddenly, just moments away from relaxation, and perhaps a nap, I heard that voice!
“Aretha Watson! Is that you?!”
And, unfortunately, it was me, and I was trapped.
4 comments:
I really like that your character has this really involved job/hobby. It means that someone else has an idea as to the types of interactions their character can have with yours. Even though there wasn't a lot of description about your character, I was able to get this really warm feeling from who she is. The end is really good and you/someone else can expand on that. You left it wide open for other people to write cool things about your character but she has an established personality. Me likey!
I liked the sudden use of me at the end, and your pronoun use. I also like how she sees the world through her artistic vision. I want to know more.
i like your character a lot, they seem like someone I can relate to, and as Casey said, it is cool that they have a hobby; it makes the character seem real and more engaged in their life. and the cliffhanger sort of ending makes me want to read more!
I really like your description of how you see in the gray colors of your charcoal. I really like how that shows how deep your character gets immersed into her work. Good job!
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